I hope all is well with you, my friend. 
by and read the new ALBs message if your interested 
[Surpri 
Thanks for your comment- that's awesome bout Jason Mraz! And yeah, texas is nice.... I guess. Not really for me. LoL. TTYL! 
I had So much baggage last year I just hadta dump it... ALL! I can't believe I have been in my "new" crib now for over 7 months now and have been back in Vancouver for almost 2 years. Time flyes... when you're switchin' your shit up. I no longer have any NASTIES in my life, shitting on my party and treating me like garbage. I am now surrounded by love and attention it is hard to wrap my head around it some times. I am so used to having the people that supposedly love me treat me like garbage. 
My last relationship was THE LAST OF THAT! I also had a family that was so unacceptably rude and uncaring I seemed to drift towards the same type of person when I was trying to change everything in my life... And i faultered a bit when I came back two years ago, putting up with a barrage of abuse from some of the people I had thought were friends and comrads... but alas, THEY WERE JUST JERKS. After trying EVERYTHING in my power to change the way these losers viewed me , it wasn't until I ended up in the hospital after a tyrade by one of these indiviuals, I realized that not only were these people toxic to my self-esteem, but also to my health. I had to [after much good advice from those who truly cared about me] to ditch all who questioned my intigriy and disrespected me so mercilessly. NOW I am hearing from these types, now apologetic, using their own problems as excuses for their bad behavior. My sister, for example [and a few others who were carbon-copies of her] have NOW "GOT RELIGION" and are OH SO SORRY for abusing me in the past... REALLY????!?? TOO BAD, SO SAD. 
I know I have talked a lot about this subject, all the changes I had to make in order to just survive with some shred of dignity. I found that the times I was sick or not at my best, were the times these creeps would just move in for the kill. Always making sure to kick me when I was down. Now, I just finished going through a really bad cold/flu after Christmas and I had NONE OF THAT... I just had people wanting to help me and take care of me, not take advantage of me when i am vulnerable. I guess I am starting to trust people more and letting the nice ones into my life. I used to be the kind of guy who would let these disrespectful, hateful people BACK into my life, over and over again, even after they would hurt me so consistantly. I suppose that has to do with MY OWN self-esteem. Even when I am not feeling well, I still remain happy and optimistic because of the beautiful who now surround me. BRENTAGE: MY ROCK... MARC:MY BOY and HUGO: MY BIG OL' BEAR BRO. and , of course,RICHARD from Quebec, my long distance love! 4 of the loveliest men I have ever known and am privilaged to have them as part of my new life-adventure. Even tho I work my ass off [at 2 jobs] and in the process of starting my home-based business again, I seem to have an abundace of energy to persue everything I want to do. Before, when I was getting stomped, I would never have any energy left for myself at the end of the day. Not so anymore. I now get up and hit the ground running every morning, looking forward to my day, not dreading it. Not worried that when I get home from work that someone has left a barrage of abusive phone messages and inappropriate ventings of their misplaced anger on my voicemail. I don't JUMP when the phone rings anymore ether. WHY? Because i now know that the people I have in my life now WOULDN'T DREAM of pulling a stunt like that. I can't tell you how wonderful that is for me. I didn't realize how many people used me as a kicking-boy/scapegoat until I put a total KY-BOSH on ANYTHING like that... My buddy Marc is now experiencing this in HIS life, where some of HIS friends are using him to vent. I told him, under NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, that THAT is UNACCEPTABLE on any level, at any time. Most people who are not happy with themselves tend to want to make others around them as sad as they are... What's that old saying? MISERY SEEKS COMPANY... I am no longer miserable, so therefore i no longer don't SEEK it. AND it was hard at first, because these people make YOU believe their crap, and you start questioning your own self-worth... NOPE... NO MORE... and [just as an observation] most of these unhappy people have some sort of addiction they are facing, whether it be drugs or alcohol...sometimes DR. SANCTIONED, so it is nary IMPOSSIBLE to get thru to them. But at the end of the day, these people end up ALONE. And angry... looking for another vitcim. 
This week has been one of the best I ever had in Vancouver... It reminds me of when I moved and lived in L.A. and had NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH MY FAMILY. At 17 years old I already realized that people were using me as a doormat, and that was why I left home at such a young age in the first place. And finally in my 40's, I GET IT! Having uncondtional love and respect in my life is essential to my well-being. In all areas. I enjoy my blog again, I love working on new projects, hanging out with my bros... not hiding in my apt waiting for the next bout of abuse. HOLY SHIT... SOMEONE FUCKIN' PINCH ME! 
Today, I pick up my new "WATER FEATURE" at SEARS.... WHAT'S THAT U ASK... OK OK ... I wanted either a faux fireplace or a waterfeature in my APT... So after consulting with my bros Brentage said "LOOK...if U were living back in Alberta, then a fireplace would be your choice...BUT YOU ARE LIVING BESIDE THE PACIFIC OCEAN so you need to be reminded EVERYDAY where you are and how far you have come WATER, MAN WATER!" 
So I did it. I bought and picked up my water-fall this morning and it is MASSIVE and MUCH LARGER than I though it would be... LOL OMG I'm such a bargoon shopper... This thing retailed last summer for $349.99 and I got it on the Outlet site for under $100.... it's FUCKIN FLAWLESS! I love the sound of water trickling and it is great to have some white noise living here on GRANVILLE... When I get it all set up I will take some lovely FOTOS...
Now I'm off to job #2 [literally it's a shit job, but i am paying off my bills and saving up for my new venture. ] I'll tell you all about THAT when I get it off the ground... I'll give U a hint: It's a combination of EVERYTHING I have done professtionally over my life condensed into one business. Cause you can't make a living being a "one trick pony". OK everyone, have a great day, 'cause I know I will... LATER SHAWNO 
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